In my last post I discussed the need for coaches to create an environment that fosters individual creativity and enables them to solve problems on their own.  A key part of that environment refers to parental influence.  Specifically, does the behavior of the parent complement the goals of the coach or undermine his objectives?

In an informal survey conducted by Bruce Barron and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC, college athletes identified the positive and negative impacts brought about by their parents during their participation in youth sports.  For many, the worst part of playing was the car ride home – specifically the “debrief” conducted by the parents – the questions about performance, playing time, negative comments about the referee, the coach, other players – not to mention the “advice” and playing tips, etc.

Regardless of the intent, the reality is that kids hate this talk.  Parents should remember that at the end of the day they are actually guests at their kids’ games.  They’ve already received instruction from their coaches, and all too often parental “guidance” directly contradicts what their coaches want them to do.

Players need the freedom to play, learn and develop.  Games are wonderful opportunities to recognize situations and learn how to solve problems.  Playtime fosters creativity while constant instruction stunts it; continual chatter from the sidelines robs a young player of the opportunity to solve a problem on his own.  In sports or any endeavor, as our kids grow up we have to make sure we continue to support them while also be willing to let them go a bit so that they can learn from their own mistakes.

Allowing kids to be themselves and develop – all in a supportive environment – isn’t that what we as parents are striving for?

So what do you say after a game?  As the articles in the links above indicate: “I love to watch you play.”