- Hope Solo, following a quarterfinal loss in the Olympics to Sweden on penalties.

At every level in every sport, teams are not evenly matched.  The advantage may be physical (size and/or speed), or it may be technical.  In some cases, one team holds the advantage in every category.  In soccer, this plays out all the time.  From youth to professional teams, this advantage is most noticeable in one statistic.  In any game one team can be seen easily winning the “possession” battle – keeping the ball much longer than their opponent.

Part of the beauty of soccer, however, is that the scoreline may not reflect that advantage.  The “inferior” team may fight tooth and nails and prevent the better team from scoring – and may even win.  While many fans of pro teams abhor teams and coaches who employ defensive, counterattacking tactics designed to stifle opponents, the reality is that the nature of the game allows for multiple interpretations of how to play.

All they do is dump and chase.  I hate that.  Our girls don’t do that.

     - A Soccer Mom, discussing her perspective on another team’s tactics at a recent soccer tournament (she apparently didn’t notice that her team’s goalkeeper either punted the ball or played every goal kick long).

At the younger ages, I do think the vast majority of youth coaches interested in developing young players focus on a “possession-based” style, one that features short passes and the infrequency of long balls “over the top.”

My intention here is not to wade into the debate regarding styles of play; I just want to point a couple things out.  The first is perspective.  The Soccer Mom I heard clearly believed (perhaps only because her coach told her so, or perhaps she is clearly accustomed to watching her daughter play inferior opposition) that her daughter’s team played something akin to Barcelona.  From her perspective, the opponents were simply defending aggressively and then hoofing the ball long (objectively, it was a pretty ugly game from both sides.)

The reality is that most teams manage to “play possession” when playing “lesser” teams.  When the opposition is better, those short passes sometimes go out the window.  It’s reality, and while a purist may not like it, the game then provides another lesson for kids.

If a team of kids is matched up against a group with superior skills, they have to adapt in order to compete.  It’s natural.  They have to react and defend intently.  This is nothing against Long Term Player Development (LTPD); the need to compete and play against superior opposition is vital to LTPD.

Yes, players need to understand how to implement the techniques they learn in games; but they also need to learn how to work hard against teams better than them.  It’s how players ultimately improve (though it may not be as pleasing to the eye in the short term).

Particularly at the youth level, parents typically want to believe that their kids are improving their skills.  And while competitiveness is often considered the final stage of youth development, it is essential.  Committing to defend against a better opponent, determination to not give up, willingness to improve – these are elements we want to see in children as they grow and mature into adulthood.  These are life lessons offered by sport.

The best teams in the world have to deal with inferior opposition that bunkers in and defends.  But they don’t call them cowards.  

- Alexi Lalas, on Twitter, responding to Hope Solo’s comments.

All parents want to see their kids play “pretty” soccer.  Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen – a player’s touch may be off, or the opponent may be better.  In those moments, young players need to learn how to adapt to the situation and figure out how to compete.  Regardless of how it looks, these moments should be embraced as learning opportunities by parents and coaches.

When I started coaching this used to happen to me a lot.  What I came to realize is that it wasn’t the players who weren’t getting it; it was me.  Why should I expect players to understand something that they may have never seen before?  The reality of course, is that verbal communication is just one medium a coach uses to get his message across.  It’s not simply the words, though; it’s how a coach illustrates the lessons.

Like any communication, the language used needs to be understood by the receiver.  Yes, phrasing instructions in ways young players can grasp and appreciate will help ensure that they’ll embrace the concept.  More importantly, however – young players need to see and experience it beforehand – and that can happen through the use of small-sided games at practice.

Players need to train situations during practice so that they can understand challenges and solutions on their own.  Games can be constructed that present particular situations in appropriate areas of the field so that players can identify and solve particular problems.

One of my favorite possession based games is North-South-East-West.  Many facets can be learned with this simple game.  As an example, with a coach’s guidance, young players in wide positions can really learn the importance of staying wide and maintaining a body stance that is open to the field in order to receive a pass on the back foot.  This game provides the opportunity for players to have countless repetitions of such a valuable technique in a fun and competitive setting – that is replicable in a real game.

In order for players to learn, coaches need to do more than provide simple verbal instructions.  For players to turn a technique into skill, they need to understand the WHY (and the where, when, etc.).  Small sided games in practice allow players to see it and experience it for themselves.  As players begin to interpret and apply solutions to problems they face in these small sided games, the coach can observe and determine if the player has gained a true understanding – and that’s better than any nod at a question.

Over the past few decades, youth soccer exploded, in some cases generating a cottage industry that has made the sport a for-profit proposition.  Parents can spend thousands of dollars every year (!) for their kids to play the sport.

This is an unfortunate byproduct of the game’s growth in this country.  As the game grew, the primary focus in most youth clubs has turned more and more towards training elite players, with scant attention given to the vast majority of soccer-playing kids, effectively killing any of their passion for the game before it even has time to take root.

Make no mistake – the U.S. system is, in fact, developing better players (yes – it’s clear that there are significant structural issues related to elite player development; this is not the focus of this post).  Players demonstrating size, athleticism, and some instinct for the game are culled from the rest and placed into teams and are given the benefit of professional training.  Other players – be they late bloomers, less athletic, or simply multi-sport athletes – are left with coaches who (though they may mean well) don’t have training related to either the sport itself or how to coach.

It’s easy to think, well, this is natural.  Better players get better training.  Why bring it up?  Well, sports specialization is becoming more and more endemic, and its long term implications are worth noting.  At best, emphasizing performance over effort at an early age misunderstands the long term development process and at worst, stifles a child’s love of the game.

“The biggest predictor of fan avidity as an adult is whether you played the game.”
  - Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred

 According to this article, Major League Baseball has noted the drop in youth participation numbers and recognize the implications for its fan base.  It is no secret that the average age of baseball fans is steadily increasing.  Is there a correlation to soccer?

While training opportunities for elite soccer players continue to grow, the playing opportunities and cultivation for casual, part-time players – historically a key part of a future fan base – seem to be decreasing.  A question is worth asking – are we killing off legions of future fans because we are narrowly focusing on specialization?

Soccer is the world’s game; a sport that should be enjoyed by all.  By forcing kids to specialize too early while marginalizing the rest, what are we really creating?  How are we growing the game?

Here’s the thing…we all know that kids mature differently.  Everyone involved in youth sports – parents, coaches, administrators, etc. – need to view the child’s development process from a Long Term Player Development (LTPD) perspective.  How an athlete performs at age 10 has little bearing on his ability at age 20.  In the words of one coaching director, college coaches don’t care what your child won when he was u-10.  Consequently, a long-term view is needed.

The important point to take home here is that parents and young kids shouldn’t concern themselves with what team they made.  The simple priority is to determine what is the best environment for the young player.  At the youth level, the environment is facilitated by the coach and club philosophy, parents, teammates, and most importantly, the player.

The bottom line regarding development – whether professional coaches are involved or not – is that learning is up to the learner.  It’s all about the environment, because at the end of the day, the game is supposed to be fun!  A child has every right to enjoy playing the game – at a level commensurate with his ability.  Many coaches at competitive levels will not give much playing time to kids they deem “weaker” than the others on the roster.  Nobody wants to be on a team and not play in games.  Kids can have a miserable experience if they are placed on a team where they are out of their depth.

Actually, the word “tryout” should really be a misnomer at younger ages.  As kids grow older and try to make more advanced teams, yes – players are “trying out.”  At the younger ages, however, the concept should be more of an evaluation, where all players attend.  While certain players would be selected for competitive teams, the remainder of the kids could be divided into relatively equal teams ability-wise.  Intramural league play would be competitive, challenging, and fun – three components all kids crave, regardless of ability.

And what if a player isn’t selected for the “top” team?  Parents fret about where a child is placed, but it’s not horrible that a player be asked to “drop down” a level for a year.  Entire teams do this from time to time in order to better reinforce concepts of play.  It is important to understand that at each level the difference is the speed of play.  Slowing the game down in order to “see” plays develop helps a player grow in his overall understanding, which can help as they seek to make improvements in their own game…thereby allowing them to get better and ultimately advance to higher levels of play.  In short, a step down can offer a player the opportunity to improve and, eventually, take a step forward.  

Tryouts can be a challenging time for kids.  The bottom line for parents:  let the kids enjoy the game at their own level.  Encourage them – absolutely!  But let them make the game what they want it to be.

How many times have I heard that or something like it – even from parents who have been around the game for several years, watching child after child play the game at various levels.  It’s as if the parents have never watched older children – or (gasp!) a professional game – to see that the ball travels in multiple directions.

All too often I hear parents making comments regarding a young player’s decision on the ball during a game.  A child will make the best decisions he can based on several variables.  These may include his knowledge of the game, where he is on the field, the location of his teammates and opponents, instructions from coaches past and present, and his understanding of his own ability.  Negative comments from parents on the sidelines only serve as a detriment to a player’s future decision-making ability as the player becomes afraid to assess a situation on his own and use his own creativity.  

Put another way, if a child were painting a picture and a parent came upon the scene after one part was finished, would it make sense to make a negative comment about what color they used?  To the child, the criticism isn’t the choice of color – instead the criticism is directed towards the child’s own perception and ability to solve problems on his own; it’s as if the child’s ability to assess situations is questioned, leaving significant long-term impacts.

During a game, players (at every level) have options, and must process a lot of information very quickly in order to make a decision.  Young players must have some freedom to make their own decisions during games; this is vital to their long term development.  Even when coaching, I focus more on directing kids off the ball rather than redirect a child’s thought process when he has the ball.

Back to the original statement – the reality is that passing the ball backwards (even to the goalkeeper!) is a normal part of the game.  Unfortunately, many parents – especially in America – think the best course is to keep the ball as far away from their own goal as possible (regardless of possession).

In a recent game I overheard a coach direct a young defender on the far side of the field (where the parents sat) to pass the ball back to her keeper.  From the parents’ section you could hear a loud adult male voice instructing her to kick it out of bounds, which she dutifully did.  I happened to hear the coach mutter under his breath, “…or you can do what your dad wants you to do…”

It never made any sense to me why a young defender – who is running towards her own goal – should turn with the ball and face a barrage of opponents chasing her down – when the easiest, simplest action is to pass the ball back to the keeper (who has more time and space than anyone else on the field).  Players need to have the confidence to make a decision, even if it is contrary to parental opinions.

When parents complain about the back pass to kids, guess how that impacts what the kids do?  It’s just something to think about the next time you’re watching a game.

Meanwhile, an older brother of one of the girls is in the stands supporting his sister.  All around him are parents of both teams shouting the usual nonsense heard at youth soccer games (“SEND IT!”  ”CLEAR IT!”  ”TALK!”  ”SHOOT!”).  The boy just looked at his mother and said, “parents are stupid,” he said as he shook his head.  The comment came after a number of such typically inappropriate comments from the crowd.  Because he played the game, the older brother understood what the girls were trying to do – while the parents were only focused on hoping to prevent a loss.

The fact is that too often the kids know more about the game than their parents.  Based on comments I’ve heard from some parents, I know that many kids (even as young as u12) have already forgotten more about playing the sport than these adults will ever know.

The real shame of it is that the kids – even at this young an age – already understand that win or lose they are ultimately playing (regardless of competitive level) to have fun.  The result of a single game is much less relevant than what they are learning over several years.  This touches everything, doesn’t it?  When you think about it, a child’s long-term development is a fundamental priority for all parents.  Why is the sporting arena any different?  In other words, why does it change when it becomes “long term PLAYER development?”

Look at it this way:  would parents go to school and interrupt their kids’ math class and yell, “Multiply faster!”?  Would they ride the school bus?  What about the playground at recess?  Why not let the kids play?  The coach is there to provide the necessary guidance and allow the players to learn (and yes – make mistakes).  The game is for the kids; let them play and experience the highs and lows on their own.

Young players are capable of understanding this.  It’s up to the parents to be supportive – and not to play the critic…

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

So we played our first game this weekend, and faced a bigger, more athletic team.  At this level, the defense is – to put it kindly, somewhat suspect.  While our boys did some good things (taking players on, passing to feet), they went down by several goals early.  There was no way to come back.  At halftime we talked about adjustments, and the kids worked hard to implement the changes.

They did a great job, at times making plays in possession that would have been challenging for my more “competitive” teams.  At this level, though, the mental focus simply isn’t there.  Against an aggressive, athletic team, many mistakes were made and the opposition took advantage, mounting an incredible lead.  All throughout, though, my kids had smiles on their faces.  They were just reveling in the act of play.  I did my best to keep their spirits up, encouraging them at all times.

The opposition coach, however, seemed to think that goal differential was important in a league where no scores were kept.  He kept pushing his players forward, looking for the next goal.  Midway through the second half I approached him quietly and I suggested that since his team was ahead by so many (at least 10), he might want to add some restrictions for his players in order to not pad the score and demoralize young kids.  He looked at me like I had a hole in my head; as if it would be great if he could have his u10 rec team set a guiness book of world records for goals scored in a game.

Fortunately, at the end of the game my kids all ran off the field with big smiles on their faces.  They had a wonderful time playing, and the score didn’t bother them one bit.  They all loved playing the game, and had the time of their lives.  They couldn’t wait for the next practice, and this is what made me happiest.  They’re having a blast playing with this little ball, and I couldn’t be happier.

Once the game is over, however, their physical, mental, and emotional investment in the activity needs time to recharge.  The peaks and valleys of the competition they’ve experienced can begin to even out, and their focus on other interests and people naturally take precedence.  After the final whistle, kids forget the result within minutes.  They know what happened during the game (and certainly do not need to experience the blow-by-blow retelling once inside the mini-van pressure-cooker, by the way).

The fact is that the sport your child plays is only one facet of his life.  Well-rounded kids have other interests, from school to friends to hobbies to any number of things.  Focusing as a parent on one single activity – no matter the level – sends the wrong message to  your child.  We all want our children to grow and become responsible adults.  Unfortunately, sometimes we ask kids to develop a single-mindedness at too young an age, and that takes away from their overall personal development.  Let kids focus on the task at hand (whatever it is), and then allow them to embrace other interests.  Curiosity is a good thing; it allows a child to learn more about their own world, and perhaps ultimately match their talents to their interests.

Regardless how skilled a young athlete is, the benefits of competition include learning the process and effort required to step out of one’s comfort zone and master something.  This idea transfers to any endeavor.  As an athlete needs freedom to play, he also needs the freedom to explore other pursuits and develop a broader base of interests.  This fosters well-rounded people, who can appreciate the simple fact that life is about more than any one activity.

As a parent, when the game is over, take a cue from your child and recognize what he already knows.  He has invested all of himself into that activity for the length of the game.  Now it’s done and it’s time to move on to something else.  As tempting as it may be, don’t rehash the past; simply encourage another positive influence or interest in your child’s life.

Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem came to mind recently when I was watching a youth soccer game and the red mist descended on a few of the parents.  For me, youth sports should be all about the kids and their right to focus on the game they are playing, as a key part of any child’s development is his ability to focus on a task.  I’ve become convinced that it is a player’s ability to focus – not athletic ability (though that certainly helps) – that sets him apart from his peers at younger ages, allowing him to get placed on stronger teams earlier, thereby enhancing his development.

When they’re younger we all notice the kids who are picking flowers or doing cartwheels during the game – and this is perfectly normal.  We hope and expect that as they grow their focus matures and their level of concentration improves.  As with any part of a child’s development, we want to assist kids as they work on this trait.  I think everyone would agree with this.  My question, then, is why do parents (and some coaches) do everything in their power to interrupt this facet during games by screaming their heads off?

In my last post, I referenced a youth game where a coach and several parents completely lost the plot.  Fortunately, the kids on the field were able to maintain their focus and play the game.  I simply wondered…as a parent, you have to ask yourself – what are you doing there?  Where is your focus?  What is your real purpose as a spectator?  Are you supporting and watching your child – or something else?  A child’s focus is normally concentrated on the short-term (playing in the game).  The focus of coaches and parents, however, needs to have a much longer frame of view.  The single game, therefore, should not take on too much significance.

When watching your child play, your actions and comments indicate where your focus is.  If you spend the game criticizing the referee, or yelling at the players or coaches, the message being sent is that you are placing an undue emphasis on a single game – and not on their long-term development.  In addition, your actions affect the focus of your child.

We all want our children to grow and become responsible adults.  Let them focus on the task at hand (whatever it is), and as they mature, they may be able to fulfill the words of Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem “If”.

This coach questioned every. single. call.  He compared calls; he complained about calls that were 90 yards away (while the ref was within 10); he contested every decision when the ball went out of bounds; he requested private conversations with the referee.  In short, he was an utter nuisance and a blight on the game.  His only success was to drastically interrupt the flow of the game for the kids.  His complaints far outnumbered any tactical/technical instructions to his players, and the referee issued several warnings to him.

As the game went on, the parents on his team followed the lead of the coach and mimicked his behavior.  They grew louder, and became more and more contemptuous of the officials.  Inevitably, a few parents on the other team felt the need to comment, and the ugliness grew.

In the second half, the coach grew ever more antagonistic.  Ultimately (finally), the ref threw him out.

Now, did the ref have a perfect game?  No – but who in sport does?  Coaches?  Um, no.  Players?  They obviously make mistakes.  So maybe the ref did miss a few calls (like every ref at every level) – but none decided the game.  All in all, he actually did pretty well, particularly given the environment.  We’ve all seen poorly officiated games, but the idea that a referee in a youth soccer game is intentionally favoring one team over another is so completely ridiculous that I have no response for it.

Meanwhile, on the field…the kids were just trying to play a game (remember – the reason everyone is there in the first place?).  Despite the craziness on the touchlines, on the field there was an obvious respect among the players.  While it was a competitive, hard fought game, opponents helped each other up after falls, complimented each other, accepted the referee’s decisions, and shook hands afterwards.  Parents were going crazy, and the kids just played the game.  The kids played – and knew enough to respect each other, the ref, and the game itself.  Kids mimic adult behavior; it would have been better on this day if the adults copied the kids!

So next time you’re watching a game, consider – whatever level your child is playing, I’m pretty sure the game you’re watching isn’t going to decide the World Cup.  Take a step back and remember that sometimes, it’s the grownups who need to learn from the kids.